A parents lament – I’m lost

February 3rd, 2012

A parents lament.

She said something like this: I just didn’t expect to be here.

Oh, it’d be helpful to be clear about where “here” is: kids acting out and being disrespectful/not responsible, dogging kid about doing HW, at odds with husband about how to handle kids behavior, overly busy, fighting constantly with her kids (i.e. relationship is really strained), not having fun, and not happy.

She went on: I have become the parent that I said I would never be. All I am thinking about is their grades, their homework, and whether they are on track for college. I’ve lost what I said I would never give up, caring about what kind of people they are, whether they are happy, and helping them be well rounded.

Then she asked 2 questions:  How did I end up here? and How to I get back?

She was sad and confused. It felt like she wasn’t being herself.

When I heard her I thought about Lynn Twist. Lynn is a fund-raiser who spend her time trying to end global hunger. Her fund-raising motto is care so much about the cause, that when you talk to people your passion, intensity, and hope is so strong that you awaken people’s own compassion and desire to make a difference. And then, of course, their checkbook. She is an amazing woman.

I digress. She told a story one day about her travels in the Amazon rainforest with a indigenous tribe. On their journey, she asked “what can I do to help you?” and their response is what I thought about after this parent shared her story.

The Amazonian people said “go back to your country and wake people up. They are in a trance. They don’t know that they are in one, but they are. We don’t blame them for what they’re doing, but we believe if they keep doing it they will continue to cause great harm in the world. Please, go wake them up.”

The message that I take from these stories is that we have lost touch with our hearts. Our humanity has been lulled to sleep. And we end up, like this mom, at a loss to explain how we got here and how we get back.

I am curious what you take from these stories, and whether you can relate to the mom. And I am hopeful that we can start to wake each other up.

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Finding excellence…being pushed beyond limits

February 2nd, 2012

When was the last time you were in a super inspired, powerful, and simply amazing learning environment? Do you remember how fun it was? How easy it was to be curious, to explore ideas, to have your creativity soaring and making all kinds of beautiful connections?

Oh, it’s so good.

And, it’s so rare. Sadly, this kind of learning experience doesn’t happen in our schools nearly frequently enough, if at all.

My sense is that many of our young people today have never experienced this kind of environment.

My experiences with it come from playing on a championship hockey team and being trained to facilitate group of hundreds of people. The challenge was high. The coaching was excellent. The demand was huge. The frustration was consistent. The fear and courage flowed like a river.

I remember being pushed beyond where I thought I could go. I remember wanting more, because I knew that in the difficulty, in being challenged, in making mistakes, that I was becoming the hockey player, the facilitator, the human being that I wanted to be.

I got past all the surface level crap that kept me small, and connected with the deep desire inside me that loved being awesome!

What are your experiences with excellence? When in your life have you been pushed (and supported!) beyond where your thought your limit was?

Where are the places you know about where our young people can have these tastes of being extra-ordinary?

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Time to leave home

February 1st, 2012

A note to a parent about their 18 year old ADD HS graduate living at home -

We were talking about creating a plan to leave the house and living on his own, and I expressed the idea that it’s not entirely up to him when he goes. He said “if I go now, it won’t work because I don’t have enough money and I’ll just end up moving back in 2 months from now, worse off than I am now.”

The piece that has stuck with me all week is the ease with which he assumed he’d have a place to return to. It seems the image that he has in his head is that you’d be waiting there with open arms welcoming him back.

Which leads me to this thought:  he doesn’t get it yet. He is not really considering this “it’s time for me to put on my big boy pants” time.

He needs a wake up call. His is complacent. He’s not learning what he needs to be learning.

So, I wonder how does that wake up call happen?

And I think that it’s an intensity of experience. Here are some things that spring to mind:

Being on a ultra-competitive team. The military. Being challenged and pushed beyond where you think you can go. For me it was playing hockey at boarding school. I got some hard, hard reality checks (i.e. my dream of playing in the olympics and professionally crushed the first day of practice) then I learned about the demand to be excellent and show up with pride and commitment if I wanted to be part of the team.

I got my ass kicked and the coaches basically said, here is how you show up if you want to play. It was hard work, but when I bought in, it was awesome.

So what is this for him?  And who is going to be the hard-ass, push beyond the limits figure?

Here is an idea (I’m thinking off the top of my head here):  it’s time to for him to try to fly on his own. Maybe he’ll make it. Maybe not. If not and he comes back expecting to be welcomed, there are some agreements that get made.

Here is what being a member of this household looks like. Here are the house rules. If you want to live here. You commit to these. And if not, then go find somewhere else.  In other words, you aren’t invited with all the bullshit attitude that was here before. It’s time to show/grow up.

You take a deposit of $500 on top of rent. For each discretion, he pays $5 (i.e. room not clean, sleeping past 9 am, not cleaning dishes on his turn, being an asshole, not vacuuming, etc. $5 each time). And there isn’t debate. You get to be the judges. At the end of the month, you collect what ever is necessary to replenish the $500 and collect rent.

Challenge #1 – this puts you into the tough guy/gal role. I’m not sure that’s ideal.

Challenge/wondering #2 - Here is the thing that sticks in my craw about this:  When my dream got crushed, something inside me wouldn’t give up. I got inspired and started to fight for my hockey life. I worked my ass off to make the team and more (it’s a fun story) but the question I have is whether he has that fight inside him. And if he doesn’t, then what…

Maybe it’ll be better to know sooner than later.

Maybe there is another way to make this experience happen.

What experiences or ideas do you have about creating those intense learning experiences?

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Have you given the amazing gift of Real Listening?

February 1st, 2012
I feel compelled to keep reminding you how desperately our young people want to be seen and understood.No matter what it seems, teenagers are battling with self-confidence. They are hurting, trying to figure out if they are okay. Caught between the desire to go back to the comforts of childhood and the compelling (but scary) independence of adulthood.

I’ve got a couple examples to illustrate the depth of the need.

Recently I said to a young woman “I keep trying to figure out how to help you find more self-confidence.” She burst into tears. Sobbing. The uncontrollable and snotty kind of sobbing.

While I suspected this was the case, she offered an amazing self-reflection on the tears. “You see me. You understand. Everyone in my life thinks that I am confident and have it all together. But, I am not. You see that. See my vulnerability. And that is where the tears are coming from. I don’t have to be alone with that feeling anymore…pretending it’s not real. Thank you.”

Wow.

A young man I know who is really struggling academically does this amazing work with people. He is caring, courageous, thoughtful and deeply respectful of the people he volunteers with. But his struggles in school have him acting out all over the place. He’s yelling at teachers, parents, and peers. He’s not doing anything remotely helpful at home.

I feel his heart. I can tell he has the amazing ability to connect to people, feel their suffering, and a deep compulsion to do something about it. It is part of who he is. The Real You.  I see it, feel it, and am grateful for his spirit – and I tell him so, acknowledging him over and over again. He has this amazing ability, but all he hears about is his grades and behavior, so he is lonely with this genius that lives in his heart.

By witnessing him, the feelings aren’t crazy anymore. He hasn’t said it, but an intense feeling inside him has been acknowledged, affirmed, and honored. They are beginning to be understood – by him – as a strength. And guess what. The acting out behaviors are changing.

So, back to the reminder: our young people are hurting, desperate for the below the surface stuff that lives inside them to be understood and seen. The self-doubt, confusion, and brilliance that lives inside them desperately wants to be affirmed.

The surface stuff is surface stuff and unfortunately where we spend most of our time. They need us to see beyond that. Like, now.

How do you see beyond it?

Contestant: Alex (Jeopardy host Alex) I’ll take “how do you seen beyond it?” for $400, please.

Alex (reading the answer): In the book Launch Your Life by Morgan Rich, it’s the simple (and hard) way to see beyond the surface of our teenagers.

Contestant: “What is Real Listening?”

The whole premise of Launch Your Life is: Knowing Yourself and Trusting Yourself leads you to be able to Empathize.

The translation of this means until you Know Yourself and Trust Yourself it’ll be hard to listen in the way people desperately want/need you to listen.

Today, lets assume that you’re ready to Empathize, so we can focus on Real Listening.  (Note: if you wonder about your Know Yourself and Trust Yourself, go check out Launch Your Life.

Real Listening from Launch Your Life

Real Listening is working to hear what the other person is saying and how that explains the way they understand the world. Real Listening is putting aside your need to be right and relating to what the other person is saying. Real Listening leads to understanding another person’s Know Yourself. You want to validate other people’s Know Yourselfs.

Real Listening happens when you sit with someone and work to hear the words coming out of her mouth, to interpret her body language, and you are present and engaged with her. You are open and ready to be receptive to what she has to say.

If your Silly Self-Talk gets turned on, or if you are in an emotional space (e.g., angry, sad, excited), you will not be able to do Real Listening.

When you listen to validate yourself, you are listening for something someone says that you can relate to, something you can agree or disagree with, something you have ideas about, some experience you have thoughts about, or something you feel intelligent about. Then, once the other person says that something, you begin either to respond verbally, or you get into your own head and begin thinking about your own understanding.

There are times to validate yourself or test out theories, but, when you do Real Listening, you listen to learn about another person or another living thing. When Real Listening is needed it’s not the time for self validation.

Real Listening is the difference between saying, “I know exactly what you mean,” and asking, “What do you mean by that?” When you ask a thoughtful question, you validate another person’s Know Yourself.

Using your Real Listening skills does not mean getting louder, insisting you are right or know what is best, or making demands. It is realizing that the way to help people become happy, healthy, and motivated is by taking the path of understanding people, so they feel seen and understood.

 

List A – Feeling…

 List B – Feeling…
Supported Threatened
Cared for Blamed
Understood Attacked
Challenged Dumb
Capable Ineffective
Resourceful Overpowered
Empowered

 

Choose which list would help you accomplish a goal.

Choose which list helps people learn most effectively.

Choose which list will create Sustainable results.

Choose which list makes people feel loved.

Choose how the Real You wants to make people feel.

I have put on my website the part of Launch Your Life that details ways to learn Real Listening. I invite you to check it out. There is good stuff, like the basics, asking open ended questions, repeating back, using their language, listening for deeper meaning, studying body language, and of course, avoiding – oh, wait a second, I just got a text message…

…

…

Okay, I’m back. You still there? What was I writing? Oh yeah, and of course, avoiding interruptions.

The Final words

All of us want to be seen and understood. Launch Your Life offers some really good tips and ideas about how to make it happen and how to deepen your listening – when I read it again, I think “wow, that’s darn insightful and helpful” and I wrote it!?…huh.” But, you don’t need LYL to start.

Real Listening is a skill that takes time to learn. The most, absolutely most important part of it is trying. Authenticity is absolute gold for young people. The effort and vulnerability means the world to them. Bumbling through the learning process is a great lesson for everyone. Remember, if you only try when your good at something it creates an unrealistic, no it creates an unhealthy paradigm – only try when your good at something.

My powerful request from the people you love in your life, please practice your listening.

They are there, and desperate to be seen and understood.

 

There is a revolution happening in the medical world.
It is the stunning realization that patients
get healthier faster when doctors listen.- Patch Adams, MD, clown, beautiful human being

 

If  doctors can do it, so can we! Lets go listen to the people we love!

Ready?  Lets 1-2-3 Lets Play!

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Where are the rituals for parents?

February 1st, 2012

My son just turned 10. My daughter is 8. I say to my wife often, I wish we could pause them, right here, right now.

I love the joyfulness, playfulness, and curiosity of their childhood.

But, I know that it’s coming. The hormones. The nuttiness. Adolescence.

It makes me sad. And excited. And worried. And curious.

What I know from working with teenagers is that the way we parent during childhood is different than how we need to parent teenagers.

But, I am struck by the lack of a conscious transition time. I want to be able to celebrate the time I’ve had, and mourn the loss of that stage of my life (and his, and ours). I want to be able to look forward with excitement, anticipation, fear, uncertainty, and love to the new stages and experiences that await.

I was reading about a jewish ceremony when a child stopped breastfeeding. The mother honored her body and it’s miracle of producing milk for this young being. The child is presented with a kiddiush cup, to symbolize their ability to eat on their own. The father provides a piece of hallah bread to symbolize the independence from the mother’s milk.  There are prayers and discussion.

That feels like a good start. It brings intentional awareness to a transition that could be hard and exciting for everyone involved. The ceremony is a way to intentionally acknowledge what is happening.

I know many parents who would be well served by having this kind of event around the transition between childhood and adolescence. I am also aware of the transition that happens when our kids leave home, on their way out of adolescence and into early adulthood.

Do  you know any rituals or ceremonies or activities that bring this kind of awareness to parents?
What are your thoughts about these transitions?
How have you made the transition? Have you?
What stage do you think you’re in? Are you happy with where you are?
How do you see the next phase happening?

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Flute practice? Only kinda…actually so much more

November 3rd, 2011

I woke up (again) to the awareness that it was actually life practice…not sure he will play the flute in the future, but sure he will play life.

I feel lucky that in the last couple days, I have had some really fun and yummy experiences as a dad.

The one yesterday happened as my son was practicing his flute. He started playing, so I brought my snack in and sat with him.

He started a new song. And it was painful. Lots of random notes. No cohesion. Phew. I knew it and then he said it, “wow, this is hard.”

And he put his flute down and started to walk away…he might have been walking to get a pencil to write notes down or he might have been bailing out.

Too hard.

20 minutes later I was standing in the kitchen as he plugged away at making that song recognizable, which he was successful at.

But, as he danced with the difficulty and frustration of this not being easy, here is what I was thinking.

I don’t know if he will ever play the flute in his life, but that isn’t the point. It actually isn’t important.

What is important is what is happening right now in our living room. He is learning how to struggle, deal with frustration, not have things come easy to him.

And I am so amazed that there was a moment where he almost bailed on his practice because “it was too hard”.

Like many people, we run our kids around (although we’re doing pretty well with it not being too, too much). They play soccer, they do ballet, they hang with friends.

Maybe this is obvious, but I realized as I was finally able to sing “and I just can’t wait to be king” (from the Lion King), that it’s not that they’re training to be soccer players, musicians, ballerinas; that isn’t the point.

The point is that these activities are another opportunity for them to learn how to learn.

It is such a good reminder for me. It’s not about training my future soccer goalie or gymnast, it’s about inviting new experiences and the struggle, the difficulty, and the challenges that come along with them.

Being the parent I want to be is about helping my kids persevere, be courageous, and learn to go right into the frustration of that moment where they face “this is too hard”.

And on to the other side where they are fist pumping the accomplishment of doing something they didn’t think they could do.

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reflections on why we lose our way…

October 27th, 2011

Why is my house not like I wanted it to be? How did I get caught up in all the stuff I don’t even like or believe in?  I feel like got lost somewhere, but I don’t even know where or how.

I imaged being a parent and not pressuring my kids, not nagging them about HW, being open to their curiosity, and all that. But, that is not what is happening in my house.

What happened?  How did you get off track?

It is so easy.
School.
Homework.
Cell phones.
Technology.

The whole message from our world of advertising: what you have isn’t enough, if you have this stuff over here, then you will really be happy.

The claim is that you get access to the stuff that you really want but didn’t know you wanted. It makes it easier and easier to think that you Need x, y, and z product.

Big you and little you

On a call last night I was sharing about the Big you and the little you. The big part is that voice deep inside that knows what you really want. The little part of you is the lazy voice that wants ease and convenience.

All that “what you really want” stuff is the lazy you, the one that wants to hang on the couch, not do work, have things be easy.

But that is all surface level crap, and we fall into the trance.  More stuff. Better grades. Do you homework. My phone is more important than the person sitting across the table from me.

The culture pulls us towards the little parts of our Self

But the real rewards are known only by the big part of us.

Pulled by desperation and lonliness

And this dependence on stuff, the little stuff is born out of desperation and loneliness.

When the big part of us speaks up and asserts itself, too often there is no one there to hear it, understand it, see it.  So we start to doubt it, think that it is just jibberish, irrelevant, something crazy inside us.

Being alone is definitely NOT part of the big plan that lives inside us. So, it is easy to bury that voice, that deep knowing.

We’ve made it really hard to connect with the things that bring us the most meaning – probably because they aren’t about money.  And so we live in a compromised state…a trance that keeps us off the path of what we truly want.

I like the question: what will it take for us to wake up and have the courage to demand our dignity, our lives back? That is why I am so touched by the work that happens at the initiation events I’ve been to recently.

That is the Real You.

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These 5 Actions will help your teenager!

October 25th, 2011

I spent last weekend with 45 young men from the tough barrios of LA.

I stood up on Sunday and through the kind of tears that come from deep in the gut, uncontrollable, almost sobbing, shared how inspired I felt.

“The world is really messed up. Messed up all over the place. Messed up in big and ugly ways.

“The work that you are doing here is damn courageous. By looking at all the crap in your life and shining light into the dark, ugly corners that aren’t easy to face, you are standing up for your own life and the lives of all the young men in this room.”

“The amount of commitment and love you bring to the world is absolutely inspiring.”

More tears a decent amount of snot…

And then…

“If everyone in the world had the courage and heart that you are bringing to this room, the world would be a lot different. What you are doing here is Peace. It is the solution to all those f–ked up things happening in the world.”

We sat in the room for 4 hours on this morning listening, crying, cheering, as young person after young person spoke into the room.

The stories were about being abandoned, suffering loss, being addicted, pain, deep pain, regret, feeling lonely, wanting to be better than you are, being stuck in a gang, being gay in a very hostile environment, absent/addictive/abusive parents, doing lots and lots of drugs, and so much more…

And we listened.

The room listened and held the space.

We had done a lot to get to this point, a ropes course, mask making, story telling, football games, campfires, all night hikes, and an initiation ritual.

Now that we arrived, no one wanted to stop. Every time we tried to close the room, someone else would stand up, trying to hang on to the love, the support…that feeling of being seen, hoping that this room could last forever. Not wanting it to go away.

It felt like home. That safe home we dreamed about. The community we always wanted, and hoped actually existed.

Here it was.

The plea was silent, but clear: Please keep this going…please! Even though I really have to take a piss, I don’t want this to end.

This is my lifeline.

What was happening in that room was incredibly hard work; and so much better than life back down the mountain.

But it’s work almost everyone avoids, and is the secret to the Aliveness we crave.

The lessons to take away are coming, but first… 

a question a parent asked me while I was sharing about my experiece:

Can I have my kid do that?

Probably.  If you are interested in one of these events, please be in touch and we can figure out how to make it happen.

Now on to the Lessons to take away

There are 2 things that I hope you can take from this story

The first is the inspiration of 45 young men doing the courageous work necessary to make their lives all they can be.

The second is an awareness of the deep integrity that lives inside you and inside your teenagers. This deep integrity knows there is work to do; and that the only way to feel the satisfaction with life that we crave is to dive right into those places that aren’t so comfortable.

Parents…here is the place to pay attention…listen (er, read) carefully

My role on the mountain, along with the other mentors, was to hold the young men to their word.

Integrity.

They came to the mountain with a purpose. In their gut, they wanted more from life – their deep integrity knew there was healing to do.

But, when they arrived the reality of facing the tough stuff arrived with them. So, as mentors we had to look past the posturing, the efforts to distract our attention, the attempts to escape, the threats, the apathy, and the attitudes.

We had to stay connected to what they really wanted and the reason they came. We had to stay connected to the biggest, deepest part of their spirit. They came to do serious work. To get the medicine that lives on that mountain.

But, they were scared and uncertain, so they acted out.

We had to create a container strong enough to help them feel safe enough to step into their vulnerability. And share. And listen.

That’s like parenting a teenager.

Trusting that inside them lives the biggest part of them that wants a Huge life…but is scared to come out. And doesn’t know how to do it. Creating a space that is safe enough for them to step into that vulnerability (despite all the attempts to throw you off the trail). Listening to what is really going on inside them. Admiring the courage it takes to live in their shoes.

Getting Naked

The joke about a men’s retreat is that you get naked and run around in the woods.

And it is true.

But it’s a different kind of naked.

Strip down the bravado. The need to be cool. The disrespect. Our masks. Our assumptions about each other. Move beyond the daily compromises. The obligations of a day, and you end up naked. Exposed.

And when you are exposed, you are vulnerable.

Vulnerable enough to be real and deal with all the crap that you create in the world.

And to be that vulnerable takes trust. The openness only comes when you can trust that the container will hold you. The fear is that in that openness you are open to an attack.

You have to trust that the container is strong enough to not crack, and handle what you are about to bring.

In the container we are seen, understood, loved. Safe. Just as we are. With all our pain, passion, regret, mistakes, and ugly.

That is it. Peace. Aliveness. Our true self.

It is incredibly powerful.

5 Action steps for parents

That is where our young people want to go. But, they need our help. They need us to create the container for them.

One way to do it is to make home that safe place. Home is the place where they recover, recuperate, and rejuvenate for their next venture into that “down the mountain” world that is scary, confusing, and aggressive.

To be “nobody-but-yourself” in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

e.e. cummings

As mentors, and these efforts are the action steps for your parenting, we worked hard to hold accountability, be authentic, provide guidance, be solid and grounded, and be clear in our role as elder.

When our young people have that container and can allow their deep self to show up, what they bring is amazing.

Creating that safe place and being open to the biggest part of our young people is one way to honor Gandhi’s famous quote, “be the change you want to see in the world.” It’s what I got to experience in the mountains last weekend.

And it’s a feeling I highly recommend.

Ready? 1-2-3 Lets play!

Please share what this awakens in you and make a comment!

Playing Huge
Morgan

There is still opportunity to contribute to the amazing work that Youth Mentoring Connections is doing with the young men and women from LA (and the guy from Portland, they call “Hands”).

You can read a poem from one of the young men here (and, wow, is it moving)

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Calling all elders

October 24th, 2011

Here is a question from a young friend of mine:

Do you ever feel like you’re being your own mentor?  Sometimes I feel like that.  Realizing I have to keep recognizing my own gifts cause no one else is gonna do it for me.  Or I can’t assume anyone else will do that, instead its a great surprise when people do genuinely see something in me.  I noticed too that my young friends (friends my age and younger) are doing that for each other.  Is that just a natural thing that youth do? Or are they doing it because no one else is? Taking up the societal slack?

Here is my response:

Interesting question you ask about mentoring ourselves…last week I got pissed off again at “my elders”…where are they?  I’ve found that people aren’t great at keeping in touch.

I try hard to be in touch with the young people that I know.  Even if it’s just a how are you doing?  I think that it’s fucked up.  I think that our elders are failing us, all the way up the ladder.  It makes the work that we’re doing harder because the acknowledgement of being a caring, passionate person (who is part of the solution to the f–ked up world) is sorely lacking.  So we have to fight like hell to feel like we aren’t alone or crazy.

Now, there is an aspect of it that is important, the experience of being down and finding your way, the vision quest when you are alone, the transition between Plotkin’s stages.  Struggle is important, but I think we’ve blown far past the point of healthy struggle and are near abandonment.

Everyone is so “busy” and it becomes an excuse.

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Call me “hands”

October 24th, 2011

What a weekend.  I gotta say, I love hanging out with young people.  And I am really, really good at it.  I just have an ability to get rapport and gain respect…it’s sort of wild how natural I feel in these kinds of environments.

So here are 2 fun moments from the weekend.

1.  First night.  I’m still nervous and uncertain how this is going to go.  And I’m tired.  I go into the bathroom and there are 5 black guys in there. One of them has a lighter and some what I assume is rolling paper.  They get a bit nervous…one asks “you down with this?”  Now, I wasn’t really sure what “this” was, having no experience with rolling anything one might smoke.  So I make some noise sort of like “sure”.  And then I leave.

Of course, they were rolling a joint, er “fatty”, which I pretty quickly realized.  But, I wasn’t aware of any rule that said they couldn’t get high – the only rule that we talked about was no physical violence.  I probably would have done it differently had I known they had signed something saying they wouldn’t use drugs up there. but I didn’t.

I can just imagine the conversation after I left, starting with something like “what a fool…”.

The best part of the story for me is my ignorance.  Then comes my embarrassment and subsequent quietness and escape.

Then the next day I went up to a couple of them and told them the story, shared my ignorance and we had a good laugh.

2.  We get a pick-up football game going.  They start to pick sides.  Guess who is the last gut picked?  Yup.  The old white guy.

First drive, QB, whose name is “Glasses” throws a wobbler to the back corner of the end zone.  I reach up snatch it out of the air, keep my feet “in”, avoid all the rocks, and dance around the big tree in my way.  There is a moment of stunned silence.  Oh, these are many of the same guys who were in the bathroom.

I walk back and say “the white boy has some hands”.

The second TD catch I make elicits many hoots and “Damn!” comments.  Then they start paying attention to me, having their best guy cover me.  ”I got Morgan” he says.

One more TD catch later and I become “Hands”.

But, I gotta say this was a perfect metaphor for my presence at the weekend.  No one expected anything from me – last guy picked – then I show up, do my thing quietly and humbly, and make a big, big impact.

What a weekend!  I love those guys.  And as I told them through my tears, their courage and their heart, and their care is Peace.  If everyone in the world showed up in the ways they did this weekend, the world would be a very, very different place

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