In my work as a life coach who specializes in helping teens, young adults, and parents, I have to work hard to help my clients create an image of what is possible for their life and for them.
- “I think I’ll figure it out when I go to college.” says the HS student
- “I don’t really know, I’m waiting for something to happen.” says the college student.
- “I’m not sure what I should do.” says any student at a moment of decision.
Having a base of experiences in the world is really important. It gives me, as a coach, something to draw on and them, as a person wanting an awesome life, a vision of what’s possible. But, too often, especially with teens, (and a surprising – and sad – number of adults/parents also), they don’t have inspiring and excellent experiences to draw from.
They have never been in an inspired learning environment, they have never been challenged to work through frustration to cultivate their full abilities, they have been celebrated for mediocre efforts which they then think are good enough, but are not enough for the kinds of moments and experiences that really matter, they have never been on a team or in a performance group that is fully committed and striving for excellence.
They have not yet gotten a taste of what is possible for their life and been celebrated and acknowledged for it. This in itself is unfortunate, but an even harder part of this is it then limits their imagination of what is possible for their future.
Not feeling hopeful or excited about your future leads to the “I don’t know, I’m not sure, I’m waiting for something to happen” that I hear all the time.
Experiencing Wholeness
What happened in my wife & son’s classroom is what I call an experience of Wholeness. The kids got to feel what it is like to be in a supportive, inspired, creative environment that they created!! “The Neighborhood” became a place where these students could go, become their character, and have an imagining that allows them to feel what is possible for their life.
Who they are deep inside gets to come and play, and that experience will create a lasting image, feeling, experience, and vision of what is possible for their future.
Every summer kids who go to SuperCamp have a similar experience. SuperCamp is a 10-day accelerated learning program. In the 10 days the kids go from being resistant and hesitant to being energetic, inspired, happy, alive, and ready to take on life. Some kids have the opportunity to adventure into the wilderness with the Road Less Traveled (RLT), where they spend days/weeks backpacking and exploring the natural world (and themselves). Or some kids go to da Vinci Middle School and are in the Dance program. In the dance program the kids are in an excellent learning environment where they are given the opportunity to thrive, challenged to step up, and inspired to give 100% effort. They learn what excitement and pride feel like and what it takes to be excellent. They learn what it feels like to work hard – really hard – for something you care about. They learn how to face adversity and difficulty and work through it. They learn what it feels like to be nervous and then to give your all in a performance.
Without these images, feelings, pictures, and experiences, it is hard to feel hopeful about the future. So, this is the foundational work that I do in my coaching…figuring out how to get people these experiences (or build on the ones they already have).
Once these images, feelings, pictures, and experiences are in place, we can begin the work of figuring out how to take that foundation and build a life on top of it.
One reason that I think SuperCamp, RLT, da Vinci dance, and what happened in my wife’s classroom is so absolutely profound and important, is because these kinds of experiences are so rare today.
Again, most of our young people never experience this feeling. They never get to imagine or experience what it feels like to be Whole.
They never have the experience of being inspired, excited, challenged, supported, encouraged, and acknowledged.
Because most of what our young people get to experience is under-stimulating, uninteresting, uninspired, and once they are old enough to realize it, insulting. Whether in a classroom at school, hanging out with peers, indoors staring at a screen, or in a difficult home, they have no choice but to think that being whole is being bored, zoned out, sad, mediocre…it’s the only world that they know.
How many young people do you know today who are full of zest, energy, aliveness, curiosity, and appreciation for others?
I’ll give you a moment to respond while you get them away from the computer, out of the TV zone, or receive a text message back from them.
Beyond fear, concern, and worry to Hope, Creativity, and Possibility
As one of the students in my wife’s classroom said to the mayor of Portand, “I’m not worried about becoming an adult as long as these neighborhoods get built. I’ll have something to look forward to and there will be adult playgrounds, so we can all keep having fun!”
Phew, what I see this young person feeling now, which sums up what I hear often from young people, is fear about becoming an adult, concern that life is not much fun, and worry about the future.
Thankfully, the kids who have an experience in the Opal 2 Neighborhood, at SuperCamp, RLT, or while dancing at da Vinci middle school, have a vision of what is possible and hope that they can make it happen.
I stand for all of us – and really hope you stand with me – and say that it is our responsibility as parents, caregivers, teachers, friends, and citizens to nurture the feelings of what is possible, to cultivate that hope, so that our young people hold on to their imaginary places, their excellent performances, their exciting adventures, and remember what they created…so they can create it again.
And show us the way.
